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Janet Huntington is a contributor to Passion for Horses. She has illustrated numerous children’s books, book covers and greeting cards before giving in to the lure of playing cowboy. She is the author of the blog The Mugwump Chronicles where she shares stories about the horses she has known and discussions about training and fair treatment for the horses she loves. Janet lives in Southern Colorado with her family, her dogs and her horses, Odin and Madonna.
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Now I know that following the smash success of "Coffee vs. Tea: Part One", many of you have been waiting with bated breath for part two. This may not be strictly true, but in my head it is....don't ruin it for me. SO, without further ado (or to use a popular eggcorn, perhaps it should be adieu deux to the title), here it is! Round One It's five o'clock in the morning. Your toddler has decided that he's done sleeping in until seven. For the next week or two, you will be dealing with sleep regression which means five o'clock will become a regular thing. So after you roll your sleepy butt off the wrong side of the bed, which do you bee-line for: coffee or tea? Well, if you want to be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, you should reach for the Folgers. According to the Mayo Clinic, one cup of tea averages anywhere from 14 to 61 mg of caffeine while one cup of the ol' black and nasty yields at least 95 mg. AND TEA IS DOWN! Round Two Now I may have the kickin' bod of a mac n' cheese scarfing basement dweller, but if I were to ever want to improve on my already shapely (read: round) form, which should I go with?
Well, if I want my chair to stop groaning in protest every time I shift positions, tea is the right choice. The compounds in tea (green) "help shrink fat cells and makes muscle cells more active". However, if I want to bulk up so that I can double fist PBRs more efficiently, I should choose coffee. It's mainly the caffeine that stimulates the muscles helping you to power through more reps (and thus more beer).Also, both coffee and tea have particular health benefits. Coffee drinkers have a 30 percent less at risk of developing type 2 diabetes as well as 9 percent less likely to have skin cancer. Of course, you have to drink 3-4 cups a day to see these benefits. And, as for tea, it contains antioxidants that prevent viruses from reactivating and can help prevent prostate cancer (though this is not super helpful for me, as I'm a lady). BOTH COFFEE AND TEA TAKE SIMULTANEOUS SHOTS TO THE GUT! Ok. I'm about to write something that might be a little upsetting to people out there. I'm just going to say it.....don't hurt me...I hate coffee. It's not that I dislike the taste. I feel like I could get used to it after a while. I mean, I like dark, bitter beers. It's just that I CANNOT drink coffee. Now, if you're sitting there thinking, "But coffee is the closest thing us mortals have to the nectar of the Gods! I can't believe that someone would willingly abstain from drinking it! I bet she just hasn't given it a chance. That intern is stupid. I bet she's a horrible person." Whoa whoa whoa. I beg to differ: Three years ago, I did give coffee a chance. And it betrayed me. At the request of my friend, I took two months to devote myself to drinking coffee. I truly wanted to be able to participate in the "iced coffee versus hot coffee" debate, to visit Starbucks and purchase elaborate coffee creations, to be a part of the "coffee crowd". It's just that in the two months I drank coffee, I felt sick all of the time. See, I'm part of a small amount of people who have what I like to call "sensitive tummies". Well, that sounds a little kidsey....maybe we'll call it what a doctor in Ukraine called it: "a weak soul". (This is literally what he told me when I had to visit the hospital in Ukraine). So, as a result of my "weak soul", I get sick when I drink coffee, when I drink a Sprite before eating anything, when I take aspirin, or when I eat raw jalapenos. (I blame my mom who can't drink ice water first thing in the morning.) And as the adaptable person I am, I adapted by not doing any of these things. So, unfortunately, coffee's out. Now, for those of you out there that are shaking your heads, thinking, "What a shame. That poor, stunted girl. What does she drink when she's reading the morning news?" Never fear. I have been drinking a similar hot, soothing, health-beneficial liquid for years: tea. I love tea. I love black, green, white, and oolong, and I start every morning with a black and green blend that I like to imagine is warding off illness as soon as it hits my throat. I don't mean to say that tea is better than coffee. I won't go there (plus drinking tea can be seen as pompous even without a "better than thou" attitude). It's just the only thing I can drink in the morning, and I just happen to love it. Even now if given the choice to switch to coffee with no ill effects, I wouldn't do it. But you're welcome to try to convince me otherwise! Next week: Coffee and Tea, Part deux. Author: Shannon the Intern
A.A. Garrison is a twenty-nine-year-old man living in the mountains of North Carolina. His short fiction has appeared in dozens of zines, anthologies, and web journals, as well as the Pseudopod webcast. His horror novel, The End of Jack Cruz, is available from Montag Press. He is our very own contributor to Passion for Weird Tales. We caught up with A. A. Garrison this week to find out some more about this up and coming writer.
Creating this stop motion took:
2,000 photos (though perhaps only 1000 to 1200 or so made it into the video) Four volunteers for voice overs Seven batches of cookies. (People kept eating them between retakes. Darn those cookie monsters. Also the book was really hungry.) Too many hours to count |
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