GREEN GECKO PUBLISHING

Ok. I'm about to write something that might be a little upsetting to people out there. I'm just going to say it.....don't hurt me...I hate coffee. It's not that I dislike the taste. I feel like I could get used to it after a while. I mean, I like dark, bitter beers. It's just that I CANNOT drink coffee. 

Now, if you're sitting there thinking, "But coffee is the closest thing us mortals have to the nectar of the Gods! I can't believe that someone would willingly abstain from drinking it! I bet she just hasn't given it a chance. That intern is stupid. I bet she's a horrible person." Whoa whoa whoa. I beg to differ: Three years ago, I did give coffee a chance. And it betrayed me. 

At the request of my friend, I took two months to devote myself to drinking coffee. I truly wanted to be able to participate in the "iced coffee versus hot coffee" debate, to visit Starbucks and purchase elaborate coffee creations, to be a part of the "coffee crowd". It's just that in the two months I drank coffee, I felt sick all of the time. 

See, I'm part of a small amount of people who have what I like to call "sensitive tummies". Well, that sounds a little kidsey....maybe we'll call it what a doctor in Ukraine called it: "a weak soul". (This is literally what he told me when I had to visit the hospital in Ukraine). 

So, as a result of my "weak soul", I get sick when I drink coffee, when I drink a Sprite before eating anything, when I take aspirin, or when I eat raw jalapenos. (I blame my mom who can't drink ice water first thing in the morning.) And as the adaptable person I am, I adapted by not doing any of these things. So, unfortunately, coffee's out. 

Now, for those of you out there that are shaking your heads, thinking, "What a shame. That poor, stunted girl. What does she drink when she's reading the morning news?" Never fear. I have been drinking a similar hot, soothing, health-beneficial liquid for years: tea. 

I love tea. I love black, green, white, and oolong, and I start every morning with a black and green blend that I like to imagine is warding off illness as soon as it hits my throat. I don't mean to say that tea is better than coffee. I won't go there (plus drinking tea can be seen as pompous even without a "better than thou" attitude). It's just the only thing I can drink in the morning, and I just happen to love it.

Even now if given the choice to switch to coffee with no ill effects, I wouldn't do it. But you're welcome to try to convince me otherwise! 

Next week: Coffee and Tea, Part deux.
Author: Shannon the Intern

Hello all! Now I know you guys have been thinking, "What the heck had the intern been up to?" Well, I'm back from a short vacation to see my mom! However, on the last day of our visit, I came down with a cold and my sister got pinkeye! Gross! So, as I haven't worked this week (lazy, I know), I thought this edition of "What's The Intern Been Up To?" will be a list pertaining to my last few days. So here ya go!

THE TOP 5 THINGS I HATE ABOUT BEING SICK:

5.  Looking Like a Melting  Yeti 
<--------------------------me yesterday

Why does it always seem like when I go out to get medicine, that's when I run into someone I haven't seen in two years?

Me: "Oh hey, Personfromhighschool, I was just checking out these placenta hair treatments in the corner not hiding from you!"

Personfromhighschool: "Hey Shannon, I thought that was you!"

Me: "Yep. It's my lucky day! What have you been up to? You look great!"

Personfromhighschool: "Just working at *****. So do you!" (That's just cruel).

Me: (defensively) "I'm sick"

Continue uncomfortable conversation way too long while staring blankly, mouth open, and dreaming of acquainting my face with the floor.

4. Daytime TV

I don't ever know what's going on but it seems dramatic! I also use up precious energy trying to find the remote which has apparently discovered a time rift between the couch cushions and only appears after I search fruitlessly and call a family member making me look like an idiot. "Did you even try to look?"

3. Everything Tastes Like Old Socks

Ice cream? No. Old socks.
Raspberries? No. Old socks.
Lima beans? No. Lima beans (which taste like old socks)

2. Having the Energy of an RC Car

Now I'm not talking about Christmas Day, Mom remembered the 8 nine volt batteries RC car. I'm talking about the day after Christmas, pitiful, most of the batteries drained, RC car. I also tend to make the same low whining sound, too, which brings me to the final thing I hate about being sick:

1: Sounding Like a Whiney B

Which is probably because I'm being a whiney B...........but I'm sick  :(

Later, blog readers!

Author: Shannon the Intern

 

In preparation to write my first post of this blog, I thought, "Write something interesting about what you did last week." OK. Interesting….but then I realized that last week my work was not very interesting. In fact, it was super boring (for you, of course, I kept myself busy). So, to bridge the gap between interesting and what actually happened, I thought I'd spice it up. Here's last week a la Dr. Suess:

Though the day was dark and gloomy,
my working spot was bright and roomy.
Looking for the perfect place,
to find myself some free ad space.
Adverts posted, ad space found,
time for corporate look around!
Six dozen sites or there about,
I feel I have new skills to tout.
It's not much, but one thing's certain:
I can FIND a corporate contact person!
Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, too.
Just a couple things I have to do.
Though the work’s not much to mention,
Perhaps this style caught your attention.
Don’t worry though it’s not the norm,
Next week, I’ll scrap the poem form!

Later, Blog readers!

Author: Shannon Anderson